Not my intention

It’s my fault I know, how the end came about.
But for so long, before there was doubt,
about my actions or infidelity.
There were arguments and punitive activities.

I was never good enough for you,
at least that’s how I feel now.
Too many sorrys and I love yous
that it doesn’t matter now.

Though I only heard those words from your lips once or twice,
It was always my fault when things wouldn’t turn out right.
I did everything for you.
I worked two jobs, went to school, and cooked at night.

I DO know what love is when I’m laying in a pool of my own snot and tears.
Crying to touch my family in the case I’m unable to for years
This is the loneliest I’ve been in my life,
away from my children and my wife.

I’ve missed your breath and touch of your skin,
but I understand why, with me you haven’t been.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not blaming you for this,
I know it’s me that is covered with sin.

I just need you to believe me when I say,
my love for you will last forever and a day.
And I’m truly sorry for the pain I’ve put you though.
Since our world has crashed down, I’ve lost my direction of what to do.

I didn’t want to hurt you or be mean, that was not my intention.